


I will love you tomorrow even more than I do now

by roseyong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Child Park Jisung (NCT), Child Zhong Chen Le, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Lee Jeno Deserves Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Bad at Feelings, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Single Parents, Zhong Chen Le is a Little Shit, coyote being sprayed w a garden hose meme is also referenced, dw tho markno get their happy ending, go away ur making jeno sad - renjun probably, have u ever felt personally victimized by a watermelon cutting board? bc lee jeno certainly has, hyuck has freckles bc i will never not pass up the opportunity to write him w them, lele's bestie is a frog, mark owns a guitar shop lol, mark u idiot u love him stop running away from ur feelings, mark/yeji...yes, one (1) buzzfeed unsolved reference is made, renjun calls chenle a gremlin (affectionate) a lot, renjun is so bitter...and for what?, sad gays markno...unless?, teen romance? no they r emotionally constipated, the s in jaemin stands for sad, there are three (3) crying scenes, yangyang is renjun's unhinged cousin, yes jisung bites yes this is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28303989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyong/pseuds/roseyong
Summary: I will love you no matter where you go and who you see,I will love you if you don't marry me.I will love you if you marry someone else—and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all.Jeno doesn't like to dwell on what theycouldhave been. No, what theyshouldhave been.Too bad learning toun-love Mark Lee is easier said than done.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42
Collections: NCTV Secret Santa 2020





	I will love you tomorrow even more than I do now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whistlelowq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whistlelowq/gifts).



> firstly, i would like to apologize and say that yes, i did accidentally change your prompt around a bit.  
> i misread it and then 8k later it was too late to start all over again, so i am so sorry about that. that aside, i poured my everything into this fic and i really really hope that it can make you even the tiniest bit happy. thank you so much for making me fall even more in love with these two dorks and i hope u have a happy holidays!
> 
> a big big BIG thank u to m (u know who u are n ily endlessly) for listening to me talk abt this fic for hrs n hrs and for supporting me as i went thru what ended up being a very emotional experience as i wrote this fic lmao i love u sm and yes, we in this markno shit together :]
> 
> i highly advise checking out the song "Kiseki (キセキ)" by GReeeeN because it perfectly encapsulates markno's relationship in this fic! like fr fr :'
> 
> cw for minor character death, but it's barely touched upon and just mentioned in one convo that Mark and Jeno have

“Jeno?” Mark’s voice is soft, perhaps even hesitant. 

The older man feeling his palms begin to sweat as he takes in the sight in front of him. Mark just barely able to make out the roaring of an engine over the steady ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump of his heartbeat. Time seemingly stopping as the train passes them by, the frame-by-frame animation in which it does so blurring the already blurred lines between them. The words _“I’ve missed you, Jen,”_ sitting on the tip of his tongue, much like all the other words he so stupidly left unsaid. _They don’t call it a wasted youth for nothing, hm?_

( _Though in retrospect, they’re still the same dumb teenagers at heart, dancing around what very nearly could have been like moths drawn to a flame.)_

“Mark?” And holy fuck has Mark missed hearing his voice, “Why-”

“C’mon, Pops! They might run outta ice cream if we don’t hurry it up!” The illusion—if one can even call it that—as good as shattered when a child’s voice interrupts Jeno midsentence. Which, once more, snaps Mark back to the reality of being a struggling, single parent who was on his way to the drugstore to pick up some cough medicine for his sickly kiddo. 

“Chenle!” Jeno’s quick to scold who Mark can only assume is _his_ kid, the older’s mouth parting in that classical ‘o’ shape as he has a staredown with the kid, the fiery determination in Chenle’s eyes screaming _Lee Jeno._ “Don’t be rude!”

“But Pops-” Chenle tries to reason, giving his father his best puppy dog eyes, something that Mark can’t help but notice are a carbon copy of Jeno’s own. And he honestly wouldn’t put it past genetics for Chenle to _also_ share his father’s infamous eye smile, an odd sort of warmth blooming in Mark’s chest when he sees that tiny hand clutched tightly in Jeno’s own. 

“But _nothing,”_ Jeno says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shoots Mark an apologetic smile, obviously flustered if the pink dusting his cheeks was anything to go off of. “So could you please apologize to Mark for me, bud?”

And Chenle grumbles, lower lip jutting out as he pouts, before ultimately obliging. “I’m sorry for being rude,” He mumbles, fidgeting as he toes at the ground below, his scuffed up sneakers nearly identical to Jisung’s own worn out, second-hand ones.

“It’s okay!” Mark reassures, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he giggles nervously, the dorky smile that he’s wearing bringing Jeno back to a time where they were nothing more than just two dumb kids reeking of teenage angst and too much axe body spray. “No harm was done here, little dude!”

“You’re kinda weird, mister Mark,” Chenle’s lack of a filter having him saying just about anything and everything that came to mind, something that gave Jeno a run for his money, as one could never know what he’d be saying next. “Like my Pops!”

Mark barking out a laugh as Jeno’s face flushes even redder, Chenle’s giggles doing little to help his father’s embarrassment. _Renjun was right. Lele really is a little shit-_

“Yeah!” And for a split second there, Jeno sees a flicker of the baby faced, braces wearing boy he’d fallen for all those years ago, memories of what they very nearly could have been and _should_ have been making his stomach churn. _Stop that. You’re going to have to move on eventually, and if you have to crush five-year-old you’s dreams in the process, then so be it._ “Just like your Pops!”

\---

_“Jeno, this is Mark,” Jeno’s mother spoke as she gently nudged her son forward, the five-year-old stumbling slightly as she did so. “Mark and his family just moved here from Canada.” Jeno’s ears tipped pink as he looked anywhere but at the boy who his mother had called Mark. “Can you say hello?”_

_“H-Hi,” He’d whispered, his voice sounding just as small as he was, “It’s n-nice to meet you.”_

_“Hi,” Mark had echoed back, and Jeno notices that one of Mark’s two front teeth is missing when he smiles at him, a feeling that Jeno can’t quite put a name to washing over him when he does so, “It’s nice to meet you too!”_

\---

“Oh? So Mark’s back in town?” Renjun looking up from coloring in one of the many intricate mandalas in what Jeno liked to call his “wittle baby cowowing book.” (A comment that always earned him a swift kick to the shins dare he say it out loud.)

“Mhm,” Jeno hums in reply, nodding his head as he busied himself in preparing Chenle’s afternoon snack. Both he and Renjun soaking up these last few moments of peace before all hell was bound to break loose with the arrival of none other than Uncle Nana and his favorite (and only) nephew Lele.

“And you’re okay with that?” Renjun asks, quieter this time, “I mean, the last time you two saw each other was-”

“Right after graduation,” Jeno finishes for him, “And yeah, I think I am,” He murmurs, his eyes trained on the apple he’s cutting up into easy to eat slices, the watermelon cutting board that he’s using staring up at him almost mockingly. “...You know, he hasn’t changed a bit-”

“Pops!” Chenle’s high-pitched voice rings out, the pitter-patter of tiny feet tugging at Jeno’s heartstrings. Because, well, here he was, still yearning after a boy who was never even his to begin with when instead he should be focusing on raising the source of never-ending happiness that was his son.

_(“His name is Chenle," Jeno whispers, Chenle's teeny tiny fist curling around his finger, holding on tightly much like he'd done to Jeno’s heart. "One variation of it means "happiness.” You know, since he is my happiness after all.")_

“Pops! Pops! Pops! Uncle Nana broke his back!” The nearly six-year-old cries, almost crashing into the wall as he skids into the kitchen, his teenage mutant ninja turtles backpack in one hand, lollipop in the other. (Not Jaemin bribing Chenle with candy... _again_...)

“Inside voice, Lele,” Renjun sighs, grimacing when he notices a suspicious-looking stain on Chenle’s school uniform, “Your Pops and I were talking,”

“I’m sorry, Uncle Injunnie,” Chenle says, apologizing in a way that feels very much like one of those automated messages that his school would send out every Friday to remind parents of their child’s upcoming activities. “But Uncle Nana really did break his back!” And yeah, maybe Renjun did laugh— _sue him._

“Oh? Did he now?” Jaemin whining as he too makes his way into the kitchen, Chenle’s lunchbox slung over his shoulder, the pinkette pouting exaggeratedly. 

“Yeah!” Chenle enthusiastically nods, hanging up his backpack before scrambling up on the bar stool next to Renjun, “He did!” Jeno watching as the light leaves Renjun’s eyes when Chenle tumbles, his little boy narrowly avoiding plummeting to the ground below as Renjun grabs him by the arm, knocking over his neatly arranged set of Faber-Castell colored pencils in the process.

“Lee Jeno, I swear to god _your_ little gremlin over here is going to send me to an early grave-”

“Hey, uh, guys,” Jaemin coughs, Renjun whipping his head around fast enough to give himself whiplash, a vaguely murderous glint in his eyes. But then again, when did Renjun _not_ fall somewhere on the mildly passive-aggressive to downright homicidal scale that Donghyuck had come up with? ...Yeah.

“What could you possibly have to say that is more important than me screaming at Jeno for his shitty-”

“We saw mister Mark again, Pops!” Chenle buts in, his son’s words having Jeno’s heart sink, “He told me to tell you hi!” The little boy whining as his Uncle Nana ruffled his hair with a soft chuckle, smiling at the boy in a way that has Renjun wrinkling his nose up in disgust. _Whipped, whipped, whipped._ “But he looked really sad when we saw him this time,” He adds with an afterthought, and ah to be as oblivious as Chenle.

“Wait, you just saw Mark out and about? Or?” 

“Well, yes? I think?” Jaemin answers with a sort of half-shrug, one which has Renjun rolling his eyes as he swats Chenle’s grubby hand away from his cheek, “I mean, Lele really needed to pee, so we rushed into the nearest available store and boom, there was Mark.”

“Like, behind the cashier?” Both Renjun and Jeno’s brows furrowing when Jaemin shakes his head no, Chenle happily munching away on the apple slices that Jeno had prepared for him, not a care in the world. _No thoughts, head empty._

“Um, no,” And yeah, Renjun’s at _least_ a level 5 on Donghyuck’s Rissed (Renjun pissed) Scale by now.

“Then why in god’s name was Mark-”

“You guys know that one new guitar shop that recently opened up?” Jaemin cutting off the tiny man before he has the chance to blow a fuse, “Yeah, well, uh,” Jeno and Renjun watching in a weird mixture of amusement and slight concern as Jaemin, the ever so confident Na Jaemin, _falters._ “...He uh, he apparently _owns_ it.”

\---

_“Mark,” A thirteen-year-old Jeno whines, draping himself over Mark’s back with a groan, the older boy paying him no heed as he continues to smash away at the buttons of his console, laser-focused on beating Donghyuck’s ass. “Mark, pay attention to me.”_

_“Yeah, Markie,” Donghyuck, being the insufferable brat that he is, teases. “Pay attention to your boyfriend-” The freckled boy letting out a pained yelp when Mark, disregarding the fuck out of whether or not he’d win or lose this round, elbows him in the stomach, jostling Jeno._

_“S-Shut up, Hyuck!” The Canadian stammers, voice cracking, cheeks flushed, “H-He’s not my boyfriend!” To which Donghyuck simply snorts, earning him yet another elbow to the stomach._

_“Ow! What the fuck was that for?!”_

_“Jeno’s not my boyfriend!” And if Mark notices how Jeno, who’s still clinging to the older boy, tenses, he doesn’t say anything._

_“Uh-huh,” Donghyuck says, his tone way too sassy for either of the two’s likings, “And I’m not crushing on Renjun.”_

_“But you are-”_

_“Oh my god, you’re so fucking dumb!” Videogame long since abandoned now, Donghyuck shrieking when Mark lunges for him, which sends poor Jeno toppling to the floor below._

_“Jeno!” Donghyuck shoving Mark off of him as he scrambles over to where Jeno’s laying flat on his back, the shortest of the trio dazedly staring up at the popcorn ceiling above him, his head aching. “Are you okay?!”_

_“Yeah,” He mumbles, blinking a few times before finally pushing himself up into a sitting position. “I’m fine, Hyuck.”_

_“You sure?” Mark asks, his lips pursed, thankfully having the decency to look at least somewhat guilty, “That was a pretty hard fall there after all.”_

_“I’m sure,” Jeno assures, flashing Mark a shy smile, one that has his eyes curving into crescents, reminding the older boy of one of Jaemin’s cinnamoroll plushies. “So stop your pouting. You look like a kicked puppy.”_

_“Hey!”_

\---

“Tell me why we’re doing this again,” Renjun mutters underneath his breath, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, a scowl on his pretty face.

“Because Jeno deserves closure,” Jaemin replies, shushing him much like a mother would shush their child, “And also because you deserve-”

“Uncle Nana! Uncle Injunnie! Hurry up!” Chenle shouts as he drags Jeno along by the hand, the gentle sea breeze tousling the kindergartener’s hair, “We’re gonna be late!” The two slowpokes sharing a look before breaking into a sprint, and for a second, they’re their five-year-old selves again, the chilly air turning their noses pink as they raced each other home from school.

“Coming!”

\---

_“C’mon and open it already,” Renjun nags from where he’s seated in Donghyuck’s lap, Jaemin somewhere in the kitchen helping himself to another slice of Mark’s now mostly melted ice cream cake._

_“I’m waiting for Jeno to come back,” Mark replies, picking at his plate of fruit (does a plate full of watermelon and only watermelon even count as a plate of fruit?) with a frown. “Then I’ll open it.”_

_And Renjun scoffs, “We all know that it’s a-”_

_“I’m back,” Jeno’s words shutting the Chinese boy up immediately, “Wanna open your presents now?” Mark pointedly ignoring Jaemin’s smirk as he nods his head, Donghyuck snickering in the background._

_But before Mark can tell them to fuck off, Jeno’s pushing what looks to be a very crudely wrapped guitar case into Mark’s arms._

_“Oh, wow, I wonder what that could possibly be-” Jeno stomping down on Donghyuck’s foot with a glare, which had the freckled boy squealing like a piglet._

_“Hey! That hurt, you bitch-”_

_“Shut up, Hyuck,” Renjun says more so to himself rather than to his crush, but given that he’s sitting in Donghyuck’s lap, he obviously hears it._

_“Make me!”_

_“Guys,” Jaemin warns, interrupting them both, his voice sickeningly sweet, “Mark’s opening his presents~.” Mark mouthing a silent “thank you” as Jaemin just smiles, sending a shiver down the birthday boy’s spine, because who knew he could be so scary? Definitely not Mark._

_“It’s cool guys, it’s not that big of a deal anyways,” The blonde said, laughing awkwardly, ripping off the wrapping paper as he does so. “I’m just happy that you’re all here with me-” Mark’s eyes going wide with shock as he opens what was indeed a guitar case to reveal the sleek, rosewood guitar cradled within._

_“Oh my god,” Is all that he can say, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, “You...you didn’t...I can’t believe...I….”_

_“Yep,” Jeno responds, giggling at Mark’s shocked expression, “I did.”_

\---

“Why. The. Fuck. Is. He. Here.” Jaemin slapping a hand over Renjun’s mouth as all Jeno can do is stare, disbelief painting his features as he stands face to face with someone that he hasn’t seen in nearly eight years.

“Nice to see that you haven’t changed,” Donghyuck sarcastically remarks, smiling a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “I’d have thought eight years would change that, but apparently not.”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Renjun all but seethes, squirming out of Jaemin’s grasp with a snarl, all of his pain finally spilling over and then some, “Eight goddamn years have gone by, and this is all that you have to say to me?!”

“Well, what do you want me to say?!” Donghyuck retorts just as angrily, though there’s no use in denying the undertones of hurt that bubble just beneath the surface. “That I’m sorry?!”

“Just shut up! God, I...I can’t believe that I was dumb enough to even think that you’d have-”

“Is everything okay here?” A new voice suddenly speaks up, stunning the _almost_ high school sweethearts into silence, and much like his five-year-old self of the past, Jeno can’t bring himself to look at Mark.

“Yeah, just Renjun and Hyuck being, well, Renjun and Hyuck,” Jaemin so helpfully supplies, lips pressed into a thin line, his shoulders tensed as if preparing for the worst.

“And I see that you’re still as passive-aggressive as ever,” Donghyuck mutters, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff, “Sweet, gentle, Nana-”

“Don’t call me that.” Jaemin interrupts him before he has the chance to finish that train of thought, his voice frighteningly calm, dripping like saturated sunrise.

“Wha-”

“Only my _friends_ get to call me that,” The pinkette says, smiling sweetly at Donghyuck, “And as far as I’m concerned, you _aren’t_ my friend-”

“Jisung!” Jeno looking up just in time to see his son launch his tiny body onto another little boy (one who is half Chenle’s size, might Jeno add), his stomach beginning to churn uncomfortably when he realizes that this child bears an uncanny resemblance to someone he’s tried so desperately to just forget. _Oh no. Oh no no no-_

And Mark, because of course he does, lets out a laugh. “Looks like Chenle already knows my Jisungie, eh?”

_“My Jisungie.” His Jisungie. Mark’s Jisungie-_

“Jeno?” Jaemin softly asks, nudging him gently, “You okay?” His silent _“We can always go home if you aren’t ready to do this.”_ heard just as clearly as though he’d spoken it out loud.

“Y-Yeah,” He whispers, drawing in a shaky breath as he readies himself to face the music, forcing a smile as he turns to meet Mark’s eyes, “I’m okay.”

\---

_“Truth or dare?” Jaemin’s grin only growing wider when Renjun makes a sort of strangled noise in the back of his throat, the Chinese boy letting out a string of curses as he weighs the pros and cons behind the two options. “Well? We’re waiting~.”_

_“Fine,” He grumbles, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, “Dare.”_

_“Oh?” And even Jeno, who’s half-asleep in Mark’s lap, is interested now, “Am I hearing that incorrectly, or did you, Huang Renjun, who never ever chooses dare, actually choose dare?”_

_“Yes, yes I did,” Renjun muttered, it taking everything in him not to facepalm, “Now hurry up and give me my dare.”_

_“Careful who you’re speaking to, Injunnie,” The younger tsked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Donghyuck biting back a laugh when he notices how Renjun’s eye twitches, “And besides, you can’t rush a genius.”_

_“You literally failed our philosophy pop quiz but okay,” Both Jeno and Mark giggling as Jaemin flushes a deep crimson, a smug smile tugging at Renjun’s lips._

_“I-I...whatever,” Jaemin says, pouting cutely, to which Donghyuck gags. “Shut up, Hyuck-” Jaemin pausing midsentence as the idea for what Renjun’s dare should be finally dawns on him, and fuck, maybe Renjun shouldn’t have picked dare after all._

_“Wait, can I change my choice-”_

_“Nope!” Jaemin chirps, popping the ‘p’ as he sticks his tongue out at the shorter boy, “I dare you to kiss Hyuckie!” And the room goes quiet enough to hear a pin drop, Renjun and Donghyuck simply staring at each other, clearly just as shocked as Mark and Jeno were._

_“W-What?!” Donghyuck all but screeches, rather effectively breaking the silence. “You can’t be serious-” But before he can even blink, Renjun’s snapped out of his stupor and is wordlessly pulling Donghyuck off of the shitty leather couch and into the coat closet on the other side of the room, the freckled boy for once not objecting in the slightest._

_(“Renjun likes Donghyuck, and Donghyuck likes Renjun. They’re in love. I’ve connected the two dots,” Jaemin says later that night, Mark glancing over to where Renjun and Donghyuck were cuddled up together, limbs entangled, their bodies pressed impossibly close to one another._

_“You didn’t connect shit,” Mark had scoffed, and Jeno giggles, a sound that has the Canadian’s heart skipping a beat._

_“I’ve connected them,” Jaemin repeats again, looking mighty proud of himself, and yeah, maybe he is right. Maybe, just maybe, he really had connected the dots.)_

_Jeno, Mark, and Jaemin all wearing matching expressions of shock as they hear the door click shut. Because, well, dang, they honestly didn’t think Renjun had it in him._

_“So, uh,” Jeno awkwardly coughing as they tear their gaze away from the closet door, “Who wants to go next?”_

\---

“...Um, so how old is he?” Jeno asks, taking a small sip of his lemonade as he awaits an answer, Mark turning away from watching Jisung and Chenle play a game of tag with the two very smiley kidults plus one terribly disgruntled Huang Renjun.

“Jisung?” And yep, Mark’s still the same old dumb ass that Jeno had fallen in love with all those years ago, “Oh, he’ll be six in February.” He answers when Jeno nods his head, yes, the older’s eyes twinkling with the type of pride that only a parent can possess.

_Ah, so he’s five. That’s the same age as-_

“What about Chenle?” Mark inquires, Jeno feeling his cheeks heat up at the mention of his _own_ child, a child who Renjun ever so affectionately referred to as Jeno’s “happy accident.”

_(“Damn, not even a month of being together and you’re already gonna be a father,” Jaemin whistles, Renjun rubbing Jeno’s back as the younger sighed, cradling his head in his hands. “But hey, at least your kid’s gonna have the coolest uncles known to man~.”)_

“Uh, same as Jisung,” Jeno utters, both he and Mark wincing when Chenle decides that _yes_ , right now is indeed the perfect time to scream like a coyote being sprayed at with a garden hose. Renjun’s distant shout of _“Be quiet, you little gremlin!”_ doing very, very little to help Jeno’s case.

“Oh?” Mark, bless his soul, thankfully choosing to just ignore the chaos that’s happening but a few feet away from them, “When was he born?”

“November,” Jeno responds, his voice barely above a whisper, unable to brush off the sinking feeling that he’s revealed a bit _too_ much for what was supposed to be nothing more than casual small talk, but oh well, it’s too late now, “November 22nd.”

“Really?” But just as Jeno goes to open his mouth to give him some sort of vague, half-assed reply, Chenle is tugging on Mark’s sleeve like the little brat that Renjun had always claimed him to be.

“Mister Mark! Mister Mark!” The very obvious presence of Chenle’s lisp having the corners of Mark’s mouth turning up into a smile, the blonde utterly oblivious to how his sleeve had ridden up just enough to expose a certain star tattoo that Jeno never thought he’d be seeing again.

_He kept it. He kept our-_

“Lele!” Jaemin scolds, snatching Chenle up with a disapproving frown, “Your Pops and Mark are talking!” Shooting Donghyuck a glare when he has the audacity to laugh, and, much like old times, Renjun doesn’t hesitate to elbow him in the stomach.

“But I gotta know if Jisungie’s telling me the truth or not!” Jisung ducking behind Donghyuck’s legs when the attention shifts to him, clinging tightly to Donghyuck’s pant leg with a whine.

“I am,” Jisung pipes up as he tentatively peeks his head out from behind his loudmouthed uncle, “Tell him, Daddy, tell him that I don’t have a Mommy,”

“Oh my god! Chenle!” And this time, it’s Renjun who’s chewing Chenle out, “You can’t just ask somebody if they don’t have a-”

“He’s right, you know,” Mark’s words bringing the room to a standstill, “Jisung _doesn’t_ have a mom. But, and correct me if I’m wrong, neither do _you._ ” _Okay, ouch._

“Why you-” Jeno silently thanking whatever deity is out there for Donghyuck’s freakishly quick reflexes, the younger man grabbing ahold of Renjun’s wrist before they all can become witnesses to a murder.

“Yeah! It’s just my Pops and me!” Chenle says, and it’s times like these where his innocence really made itself known, because while the adults in the room could tell that there was something more to Mark’s words, Chenle had only seen the question for what it was, which was a question. _Nothing more, nothing less._

“Really?” Mark’s voice once again back to its usual, cheery self, all previous traces of the darkness lurking just below the surface vanishing into thin air, “How cool!” The five-year-old making a small noise of what Jeno can only assume is satisfaction (for what? Jeno doesn’t know) before locking arms with Jisung and running off back from whence they came, the other three adults hot on their heels.

Mark shouting something about being careful as they do so, and for a moment, everything is okay in the world. Or, at least it _feels_ okay, that is. Because no sooner than Jeno thinks that, Mark’s opening his mouth again. _Please don’t bring that up. Please don’t-_

“I saw you that you noticed it,” He remarks, his voice just barely audible, almost as if this is meant to stay between them and _only_ them, “...So, uh, do you still have yours?”

“Yeah,” Jeno swallowing down the lump in his throat as he and Mark meet each other’s eyes, “I do.” _It’s all that I have left of you after all._

\---

_“Matching tattoos?” Jeno asks, flicking Donghyuck square in the middle of his forehead when the freckled boy leans in close, because what’s the fun in not cheating at a game of Go Fish?_

_“Yeah,” Mark had replied as if Jeno should know exactly what it is that he was talking about, Jaemin muttering something about how this “sounded like a bad idea” as Renjun nursed his cup of strawberry vodka, without a doubt judging them and their potentially shitty life choices._

_(“Where’d you even get this?” Donghyuck drunkenly slurred, Renjun’s back pressed uncomfortably against the kitchen counter, the Chinese boy internally panicking when he realized that the redhead had him cornered._

_“G-Get what?” Renjun had stuttered, frantically looking around for either Jeno or Jaemin to come and save him, “The v-vodka?”_

_“Mhm,” Donghyuck hummed, somehow managing to lean in even closer now, “It’s good.”_

_“Thanks?” Renjun’s eyes lighting up when he spots Mark come stumbling into the kitchen, “Lucas gave it to me-”_

_“You guys seen Jaemin’s phone?” The blonde giving Renjun a sympathetic smile upon noticing the situation that he’s found himself in, “Because the fucker is on the verge of tears, and I don’t know how long Jen can keep him occupied.” And yeah, if it weren’t for Mark also being completely shitfaced on top of having to keep Jaemin from having a breakdown, he’d have probably tried to save Renjun himself. ...Probably._

_“Nope,” Donghyuck’s quick to reply, “Have you maybe checked in-between the couch cushions?” Renjun grumbling something about “stupid fucking Jaemin” to himself as Mark and Donghyuck continue to converse, paying no heed to how he’s quite literally being squished here._

_“Oh, uh, okay,” Mark mumbles, clearly confused but taking his best friend’s advice nonetheless, “Thanks, Hyuck,”_

_“Of course, hyung,” Donghyuck says, wearing that mischievous smile of his, and Mark now knows with great certainty that it’s in his best interest to make a run for the door lest he wants to see more than he’s meant to see. “Of course~.”)_

_“But why?” Jaemin shoving Donghyuck away from him when he tries yet again to sneak a peek at their cards, sending him toppling onto Renjun, who promptly dumps his half-finished drink onto Donghyuck with a scowl._

_“Hey! What the fuck?!” But Renjun just rolls his eyes, because, well, what else would you expect from him?_

_“Because it’s your 18th birthday? And also because you can legally get a tattoo now?” Mark answers, staring at Jeno like he’s grown another head, “So why the fuck not?”_

_“Yeah, Jen,” And even Jaemin, who’s both the mom of the group and the most level-headed out of the five (save Renjun), has to agree. “Why not?”_

_“Why not?” Jeno repeats incredulously, his teeny tiny little pigeon brain (Renjun’s words, not his) going into overdrive as he struggles to comprehend just what in the hell is going on here. “Because it’s one in the morning??? Because we’re drunk??? Because I’ve only been legal for an hour-”_

_“Look, it’s either you let Mark drag your ass to a professional, or you let fucking Yangyang have a go at it.” All five of them shuddering at the mere prospect of even considering letting Renjun’s unhinged cousin have a go at permanently inking their skin._

_“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”_

_“But...what if...surely Yangyang can’t be all that bad....” He pitifully tries to protest, but it’s clear that they’re having none of it, “You know what, fine. I’ll get that stupid tattoo.”_

_“Great choice!” Mark says, positively beaming, “I’ll make sure to be right there beside you!”_

\---

“Why? Is that weird or something?” And _yes,_ Jeno _is_ painfully aware that he’s just about the same shade of pink that Jaemin’s crispy, crunchy hair is.

_(“Your hair is so crispy, Uncle Nana!” Chenle had said when Jaemin had come to pick him up from school one day, “Like a potato chip!” The little boy giggling as Jaemin just stood there, absolutely gobsmacked and wanting nothing more than to just crawl into a hole and die as even Chenle’s kindergarten teacher, a Japanese man by the name of Yuta, failed to stifle a laugh._

_“Lee Chenle!”)_

“Nah,” Mark replies, amused to see how even the simplest of things still managed to rile Jeno up. The Canadian vaguely wondering if the rosiness to his cheeks was due to embarrassment or if it was purely because of the summer heat that they had just now only managed to escape. _(“Mark Lee, I swear to fucking god if you let him overheat,” Renjun angrily muttered as he pushed them both inside with a glare, the Chinese man not taking any of Jeno’s excuses that he was fine when he most definitely was fucking not.)_ “I mean, I still have the guitar you gave me,” The blonde said, pointing over to where an old, worn, rosewood guitar sat propped against a wicker chair.

_Oh._

“Did you,” Jeno pauses, honestly not quite sure if he’ll be able to handle Mark’s response to what he’s about to ask next, but fuck it, he _needs_ to know. _(“It’s called closure,” Jaemin had cooed, gently brushing Jeno’s hair out of his face with a sigh, his expression as unreadable as ever, “And it’s something that you deserve.”)_ “Did you ever consider removing it?” The younger scrambling for something _—anything—_ to make his wording come across better when he sees how Mark’s face falls, “Not that I considered removing it, but-”

“No, I didn’t,” He admits, “But, uh, I....” And now it’s Mark’s turn to pause, Jeno’s lips pursing as he watches as the older nervously chews on the inside of his cheek, eyes flickering down to his covered up wrist before he hesitantly begins to roll up his sleeve.

“I added two more stars,” Holding his wrist out for Jeno to see, “One for Yeji, and one for Sungie.” The younger man squinting as he reads the lettering resting there, his fingertips ghosting over Mark’s skin as he does so.

_“On February 5th, a star was born,”_ He whispers, and no, please god no, not him, _not his Mark._ “ _On February 5th, an angel gained her wings.”_ Jeno’s heart dropping to the pit of his stomach as he fully takes in the implication behind those words.

“I-”

“It’s okay, Jen,” Mark’s voice is soft, way too soft to be considered even remotely okay, “You don’t have to say that you’re sorry, I understand.”

_You shouldn’t have to understand, though._

“But you-”

“It’s okay,” He repeats as he rolls his sleeve back up, his words slightly firmer this time, and Jeno knows that it’s probably best if he just drops it, “Oh, and guess what?” Mark asks, the twinkle returning to his eyes as he does so, his smile wide enough for the both of them.

“What?” Jeno replies, playing along just for the heck of it _—just like old times, eh?_

“Yangyang did them for me.”

_Yeah, just like old times._

\---

_“Yeji? Really?” And Mark simply nods, the senior too busy chewing his bagel to reply, he and Jeno overlooking their school’s courtyard from their secret spot on the school’s rooftop, “You like Hwang Yeji?”_

_“Yeah,” Mark tearing off a bite of his bagel and chucking it at some poor unsuspecting soul down below, “You jealous?”_

_“N-No!” Jeno splutters, his ears going pink, his voice a whole octave higher, “I’m not!”_

_“You sure?” The older teases, wiggling his eyebrows as he playfully nudges Jeno’s shoulder with that shit-eating grin of his, “Because to me it seems like someone’s-”_

_“I’m not jealous!”_

\---

“Look, I know it’s not the same as...,” Jeno trails off, but since it’d be rude to leave Mark hanging like that, he forces himself to continue, “But I understand...sure, maybe _not_ 100%, but uh, Chenle’s mom...she um, she decided that being a mom just wasn’t meant for her and she uh, she left us-”

“Pops!” Chenle cries as he comes barreling into the room at full speed, throwing himself onto Jeno with a squeal, “Pops! Uncle Nana broke his back again!” And Mark, in true Mark Lee fashion, guffaws, his head thrown back as the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Lee Chenle!” Jeno scolds, but the little boy is anything but remorseful, and Mark’s laughter certainly isn’t doing Jeno any favors here either.

_(“He’s like a parasite Jen, feeding off of attention and shit.” Renjun pointed out after the toddler had spit up all over his brand new cashmere sweater, the tiny man still smelling faintly of Beech-Nut’s pumpkin puree._

_“Renjun, no.” Jaemin sighed, bouncing a fussing Chenle on his hip as Jeno tried frantically to locate their tub of OxiClean among the mess of laundry that had somehow accumulated despite their best efforts to stay on top of chores for once._

_“Renjun, yes.”)_

“He did?” Mark asks, and Chenle nods enthusiastically, obviously delighted to be the center of attention, and god does Jeno wish he could strangle the Canadian. _(Don’t feed the bears who? No, don’t “feed” Lee Chenle.)_

“Yeah!” Chenle chirps, “‘Cuz Jisung told me that if I stepped on a crack, I’d break my mama’s back! But since I don’t have a mama, he said I could just change it to whatever, and since Nana sounds kinda like mama, I changed it to Nana!”

_...yep, that’s my son, that’s my “pride and joy.”_

“I-”

“Bye, mister Mark! I gotta go make sure that Uncle Nana’s a-okay!” And with that, Chenle’s off with a slam of the door, leaving the two in complete silence before Mark dissolves into a fit of laughter, the blonde clutching at his sides as he doubles over in his chair, and Jeno, despite it all, finds himself starting to laugh too.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry about all that!” Jeno wails, his face as red as a tomato, “I swear I don’t know where he gets it from!”

_(“Liar,” A voice that sounds suspiciously like Jaemin mutters, “You know exactly where he gets it from.”)_

“That’s so fucking funny!” Mark wheezes, and Jeno playfully slaps him on the arm, “Lele was raised by both you _and_ Renjun, and yet he still wakes up and chooses violence!” Chenle’s nickname rolling so smoothly off of Mark’s tongue that Jeno doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

_It feels right. It feels so incredibly right._

“Hey! Don’t forget Jaeminnie!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Mark put his hands up in mock surrender, “But if it’s any consolation, Sungie is objectively worse because he bites,” 

“He what now.”

“Yeah, Hyuck taught him to bite when he was like a toddler,” Mark explains, “And, well, we still haven’t quite been able to get him to stop.”

“I...And you still kept him around after he taught _your_ kid to _bite?”_

“Well, yeah,” Mark answers like it was the only logical thing for him to do, “He _is_ Jisung’s godfather for a reason after all.”

_(“It’s okay, hyung,” Donghyuck murmurs, Mark’s lower lip wobbling as tears begin to prickle at his waterline, his legs threatening to give out from underneath him as the weight of the world became simply too much for him to carry alone. “You’re gonna be okay,”_

_“B-But-” The ear-splitting sound of a newborn’s cry being the straw that broke the camel’s back as all of Mark’s pain finally bubbles over, the blonde collapsing into the arms of his best friend as he sobs, clinging onto Donghyuck as if he fears that the hands of fate will snatch him away too._

_“I’m here, hyung,” Donghyuck whispers, turning his head to glance over to where their number one priority lay crying his heart out in his hospital cot, “I’m here for the both of you.”)_

“Hyuck’s his godfather?” Though the news really shouldn’t come as a surprise to Jeno, given how Mark and Donghyuck had practically been attached at the hip ever since their elementary school days, “Cute.”

“C-Cute?” Mark repeats, the tips of his ears going pink, and Jeno giggles, nodding his head, “Me? O-Or Hyuck?”

“The both of you,” Jeno replies, to which Mark pouts, “But I doubt that Junnie would appreciate me calling his-” He stops himself there, fingers subconsciously running over his own covered up star tattoo, the lingering feeling that he had said more than he needed to say making him look away, not wanting Mark to see the shame swimming in his eyes.

“Hyuck still loves him, you know.”

“Renjun still loves him.” Jeno wincing at how his words clash with Mark’s, murmuring a quiet apology for interrupting him.

“I figured as much,” Mark admits, frowning, “Hell, I don’t think that Hyuck has never _not_ loved him.”

_Much like I’ve never not loved you._

Jeno hums, “Renjun’s never dated, said that he didn’t want to date anyone who wasn’t _him_.”

_Much like how I didn’t want to date anyone who wasn’t you._

And Mark laughs, a heartbroken, bitter sounding thing, “Hyuck said the same, said that he’d planned to keep his promise no matter how long he had to wait.”

_(“You don’t understand,” Mark staying quiet as he waits for Donghyuck to continue, little Jisung babbling away in his highchair, his chubby cheeks smeared with Gerber’s baby food. “I don’t care how many years I have to wait. I love him, Mark. I am in love with Huang Renjun.”_

_“You-”_

_“I promised him,” His voice breaks, “I promised him that we’d have our fairytale ending, I promised.”_

_“I-”_

_“And we will, I’ll make sure of it.”)_

“...Do, do you think that there’s still hope for them?” Jeno speaks after a moment’s silence, his eyes somehow finding their way back over to that old rosewood guitar. And for a second, he wonders if Mark kept the small “M+J” that Jeno had carved into its back all those years ago.

_(“Because we’re always gonna be together, right?”_

_“Right!” Mak beamed, butterflies fluttering about in his tummy when Jeno had laced their fingers together, “Because we’re always gonna be together!”)_

“Do I think that there’s still hope for them?” And Jeno nods, wanting to know not just for his friends, but also maybe for himself.

_Do you think that there’s still hope for us?_

“Of course there is,” Mark says, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

\---

_“Oh,” Is all that Jeno utters when Jaemin tells him the news of Mark asking Yeji to the senior prom, the younger boy huffing at Jeno’s barely there reaction._

_“That’s all? What kind of reaction even is that?”_

_“An honest one?” Jeno tries, closing his copy of The Odyssey with a shrug, “I don’t care who Mark chooses to go with, Nana,”_

_“Uh-huh,” Jaemin scoffed, clicking his tongue disapprovingly as he placed both hands on Jeno’s desk, forcing the older to acknowledge him. “But didn’t he say something about you guys going together?”_

_“He was drunk,” Jeno frowned, which, as far as he was concerned, was the truth. “Wait, how do you even remember that? We were drunk,”_

_“Correction, you were drunk,” Jaemin says with a smirk, and Jeno whines, “I, on the other hand, was not.”_

_“If you’re just going to call me out for being a lightweight, can you maybe make it quick because I have places to be-”_

_“I know for a fact that the only place you “have to be” is at home, crying into your pillow over a boy who most definitely does not deserve your tears,” And Jeno sniffs like the emotional little crybaby that he is, “However that’s not the point that I wanted to make,” Jaemin’s lips pursing as he takes a long pause just for the purposes of being dramatic._

_“Well, then what was the point that you wanted to make then?” Jeno asks, rolling his eyes because he knows that it’ll annoy Jaemin._

_“Rude, but the point that I wanted to make was that while you were drunk as hell, Mark most certainly was not.”_

_“You’re lying,” Jeno mutters, snuffing out that spark of hope before it has the chance to become a flame, “Mark doesn’t like me like how I like him. We both know that.”_

_“Hyuck’s said otherwise,” Jaemin quips, “But I get it,” Which he does. He, of all people, would get it._

_(“Have you ever had a crush on someone, Nana?” Mark whispered, their other three friends fast asleep in their sleeping bags, the dim glow of the fire illuminating the surrounding woods._

_“Yeah,” He replies, figuring that it was safe enough to let his guard down for once, “I have...or rather I still do.”_

_“Wait, for real?”_

_“Mhm,” Jaemin hums, chest aching as he thinks of the two boys whose hearts already belonged to someone else, “For real.”)_

_“Do you?” Jeno mumbles, too busy reaching for his book bag to notice how Jaemin’s face crumples, much less realize the impact that his words had on him._

_“Yeah, I do,” Jaemin whispers, not expecting Jeno to hear or even care, “But this isn’t about me.” (It never is.)_

_“Look, I don’t give a shit that Mark’s-”_

_“Quit lying to yourself, Jen,” Jaemin’s tone is bitter and laced with something more, something Jeno’s never heard from him before, “It’d do you some good.” And with that, Jaemin turns on his heel and storms out of the classroom._

\---

“You know,” Mark starts, “When I first saw Jaemin with Lele, I thought that meant that you guys were a thing.”

_(“Shut up, Hyuck,” Mark scowls, “I am so not “totally jealous” that Jeno’s going to prom with Hyunjin.”_

_“Sure, Jan,” Donghyuck teases, narrowly dodging the water bottle that Mark chucks at his head, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”)_

Jeno fake gags, “Jaemin? Really?”

“Shut up,” But there’s no bite to his voice, “How was I supposed to know that he was “Uncle Nana” and not “Daddy Jaemin,”?”

“Please never refer to Jaemin as “Daddy” ever again, please,” Jeno winces, pressing his palms to his eyes with a groan, “Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I love Jaemin, I really do,” Sitting up straighter in his chair as Mark’s cheeks flush, “I just don’t love him like _that.”_

_I think that I can only love you like that._

There’s a pregnant pause. 

The older fiddling with a stray hangnail as he looks anywhere but at the first person to ever make him feel truly seen. 

“Mark? Are you okay-”

“Do,” Mark pauses, “Do you think that you loved Lele’s mom like _that_?”

_Because I never loved Yeji like that. No matter how hard I tried to make myself love her like that._

“I,” Jeno swallows thickly, his adam’s apple bobbing nervously, “I don’t _know.”_

_But when it comes to loving you? I think I’m pretty sure that I know._

\---

_“When are you going to kiss him?” The blaring music and chattering of their fellow classmates making it slightly hard to hear, but Jeno figures that Renjun must have heard him because why else would he be blushing so hard?_

_“Who ever said that I was going to k-kiss him?” The shorter boy stammers, tearing his gaze away from where Donghyuck and Yangyang were dunking various shit in the chocolate fountain._

_“You didn’t, but your cheeks sure did!” Jaemin chirps, his bowtie nowhere to be seen, hair disheveled, “So, are you?”_

_“Where did you come from, and why do you look shit?” Renjun squints, looking Jaemin up and down, “Actually, you know what, don’t answer that.”_

_“Hey, at least agree that I look like hot shit~.” Jaemin, because he’s fucking Na Jaemin, flirtatiously says, winking at Renjun just for good measure._

_“Literally die.”_

_“How rude!”_

_“Jaemin, shut up; he’s coming over here!” Jeno hisses right as Donghyuck makes his way over to their table, Jaemin letting out a small squeak as Renjun pulls him down into the open seat beside him._

_“Are you guys, like, okay?” Doghyuck asks, arching a brow, “I think Yangyang has something to help with that if you-”_

_“Renjun wants to kiss-”_

_“No one! Renjun wants to kiss no one!” Jeno nervously laughs, Renjun grabbing at Jaemin’s thigh and pinching it. Hard._

_Um, okay then,” Donghyuck says, slowly beginning to back away, and god does Renjun want to die, “But if he changes his mind, he knows right where to find me~!”_

\---

“What about yourself, hm?” Jeno finds himself asking against his better judgment, his carefully built walls coming crashing down despite having spent less than a day with the very person that he had those walls put in place for. “Have you ever loved someone like _that_?”

_You. I love you like that._

“Yeah,” And Jeno simply nods, having expected as much, “I think I have.”

_No, I know I have._

“She must be a-”

“Daddy!” Mark doing a double-take when he sees who it is that’s carrying Jisung (who’s obviously been crying, seeing as the little boy is still hiccuping) in his arms, Chenle following close behind, and _yes_ , that _is_ a frog that he’s holding. “Uncle Hyuck’s g-gone.”

“Huh?” The blonde frowns as he tilts his head to the side, repressing a shudder as Chenle presses a kiss to his frog’s slimy little head, “What do you mean Uncle’s Hyuck’s gone-”

“He and Renjun finally decided to act like adults is what he means,” Jaemin interrupts purely for the sake of clarification, Chenle giggling as he showed off his froggy friend to his Pops, poor Jeno paling at the sight of it.

“For real?”

“Mhm,” Jaemin hums, dark eyes clouded with a kind of hurt that Mark is all too familiar with, “I’m happy for them.”

_Are you really?_

“Me too,” Jeno shooing Chenle and his frog away when the five-year-old tries to get his father to hold the damn thing, “They deserved as much.”

_And maybe, just maybe, in another life, we’d have had the same._

\---

_“This fucking sucks,” Renjun complained as Jaemin helped himself to yet another (it’s his tenth, Renjun knows, he’s been counting) cup of “punch.”_

_“Quit being such a drama queen,” Jaemin snorted, the taller letting out a yelp when Renjun kicked him in the shins. “Ow, okay, jeez,” Renjun grumbling something in Mandarin that he doesn’t understand, which was probably purposeful given Renjun being level 100 in pettiness, “I’m sure that Jen will be back soon.”_

_“He went off somewhere with Mark,” Renjun huffs, “He definitely won’t be coming back anytime soon-”_

_“Injunnie!”_

_“Fuck, hide me!” Renjun pulling Jaemin in front of him as Donghyuck waves at him, the freckled boy making his way over to them before Renjun can so much as even blink. And welp, there goes all the effort he’d put into avoiding his crush._

_“I’ve been looking all over for you!” The freckled boy whined with a pout, “It’s like you’ve been avoiding me-”_

_“I have,” Renjun says, coming off harsher than he’d intended to, the hurt that flashes across Donghyuck’s face making him feel like the shittiest person alive, “I mean-”_

_“No, I get it,” He mutters, taking a step back, “I...I’m sorry, I’ll just...I’ll just go now,” Donghyuck giving them a sad smile as he excuses himself, and soon he’s faded back into the crowd, the purple glow of the room doing little to hide Renjun’s crumpled expression._

_“Junnie?” Jaemin reaching out and taking Renjun’s hand in his, giving it a small squeeze, “Why did you do that-”_

_“I’m in love with him,” Renjun breathes out, a teardrop slips down his cheek, “Jaemin, I’m in love with Donghyuck-”_

_“Go,” Jaemin urges, even as it feels as if his heart is splitting in two, squeezing Renjun’s hand one last time before letting go, “Go and find him, Junnie.”_

\---

“Nana,” Jisung sniffs, and Mark turns, his son still clinging tightly to Jaemin, “I’m hungry.”

“Oh? Do you want me to fix you something-”

“I’ve got it!” Mark springing up from his chair as he goes to take Jisung from Jaemin’s arms, but the pinkette shakes his head, his lips drawn up tightly.

“Let me take care of it, okay?” Jaemin’s voice so firm that Mark can only nod, the younger regarding him with that same old unreadable expression he’d used to give Mark back during their middle school days. Almost as if he was daring the older to disagree with him.

“O-Okay,” And Jaemin beams, beckoning Chenle over with the promise of chocolate, the little boy gently setting his frog down before chasing after his uncle, who’s chattering away with Jisung about where his Daddy kept all their yummy snacks.

_He knows, doesn’t he?_

“Should we follow them-” Jeno making a move to do so right as Mark grabs ahold of his wrist, the action causing Mark’s thumb to brush across that permanent reminder of what they could _have_ been.

_(“You still love him.” Jeno looking away from admiring his newborn son with a puzzled look, “Don’t play dumb with me, Jen,” The shorter man grumbles, “I know the full meaning of Chenle’s name, and both variations have one thing in common-”_

_“So what if I did?” Jeno holding Chenle closer to his chest, “Chenle’s my star-”_

_“Oh? And is Mark also your star? Is that why your eighteen-year-old self decided to get matching star tattoos?”_

_“Shut up,” Jeno sniffles, Chenle snuggling into his father’s warmth, “Please just shut up.”)_

“Walk with me?” Mark asks, his voice oddly strained for a request so simple, like he expects for Jeno to say no, “Please?”

_Say no. Say no. Say-_

“Of course.”

\---

_“Didn’t think that I’d find you here,” Mark remarks with a soft laugh, and Jeno rolls his eyes, “What happened to dancing with Hyunjin?”_

_“I could ask you the same thing,” Jeno retorts, but he scoots over to make room for Mark to also sit, “What happened to dancing with Yeji?”_

_Mark shrugs. “Guess I just didn’t wanna,”_

_(Because I’d rather dance with you.)_

_“Ah.”_

_It goes quiet._

_“Hey, Jen?” Mark whispers, just now noticing that at some point, his right hand must have sought out Jeno’s left._

_“Hm?” Jeno yawns, leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder._

_(He knows he shouldn’t, but it’s nearly four in the morning. He always gets cuddly at four in the morning.)_

_“Wanna catch the sunrise with me?”_

\---

“It won’t hold the two of us,” Jeno says, arms folded across his chest as he regards the shabby old dock with pursed lips, the sound of the waves gently lapping against the shore evoking an odd feeling of nostalgia.

_(“Last one in the water is a rotten egg!” Donghyuck yells, all five of them racing towards the ocean with the same intention of being the first to dive in._

_“That’s not fair!” Jaemin whines, the youngest of the bunch yet again finding himself to be the last one in, “Hyuck, you cheated!”_

_“Did not!” Donghyuck shouts, sticking his tongue out as he splashed Mark in the face, the older boy swallowing a mouthful of salty water in the process._

_“Did too!”)_

Mark snorts, “Yes, it will, now come on,” 

And Jeno whines, but he ends up letting himself get dragged over anyway.

_(“I’m going to propose to her on this dock,” Mark says, “It’ll be right at sunset too,” Jeno looks away. He feels sick._

_“I-”_

_“You think she’ll say yes?” There’s an uncertainty to Mark’s words, one that Jeno’s never heard before. He quickly concludes he doesn’t like it._

_“I know she’ll say yes.”_

_(Because I’d say yes in a heartbeat.))_

“You know,” Jeno speaks up, the comfortable silence that had fallen over them now broken, Mark tearing his gaze away from the water as he waits for the younger to go on, “Maybe I’m just dumb, but I honestly hadn't noticed till that day," He pauses, dragging his foot along the washed-out wood with a sigh.

Mark gulps, hope beginning to bubble up in his chest.

“That you...that I....” And Mark’s heart sinks when he notices that Jeno looks like he’s about to cry, “I’m sorry Mark, but I just can’t do this anymore.”

_Can’t do what? What did I do?_

“Jeno?”

“Nothing, Mark,” He murmurs, “It’s nothing,”

“Bullshit,” Jeno’s eyes go wide, Mark’s hands curling into fists. And Jeno notices then that he’s trembling. They both are actually, “If it was really nothing, then why are you crying?”

_He’s crying?_

“Wha-” But the feeling of calloused fingertips gently wiping away his tears has the words dying out on his tongue.

_Please don’t do this, please. My heart can’t take much more-_

“Jen,” Mark whispers, the chilly sea breeze making them both shiver, and Jeno faintly notes that the sun’s beginning to set. “Jen, please look at me.”

_I can’t. I’m sorry, Mark, but I just can’t._

“Yes, yes you can,” And Jeno cringes when he realizes that he’s spoken aloud, screwing his eyes shut with a whimper, “Jeno, please,”

“I can’t,” His voice cracks, fat tears rolling freely down his cheeks, “I can’t-”

“You can,” Mark says again, “After all, you managed to look at me when we first met, didn’t you?”

“Y-You remember that?” Jeno stutters, and Mark hums, his thumb brushing against Jeno’s cheekbone.

“Of course I remembered,” The blonde breathes, moving in closer, cupping Jeno’s cheeks, “How could I forget?” 

_It’s now or never, isn’t it?_

“How could I forget the day that I met the only person who I’ve ever loved like _that_.”

Jeno inhales sharply, eyes fluttering open to meet Mark’s, his lower lip wobbling.

“W-what? What did you just s-say-”

“Lee Jeno, I-I have been in love with you since we were five years old,” Mark shakily admits, blinking away the tears blurring his vision, _“And I know that I should have said something, but I just couldn’t risk losing you.”_

“W-What?”

“I’m so sorry that I never said anything,” Mark’s voice is soft and not at all like the Mark Lee that Jeno had fallen in love with all those years ago, “I just had to tell you before it was too late, but I think that I’ve already missed my chance-”

“I love you too,” He blurts out, “Hell, I don’t think that I’ve never _not_ loved you,”

“Jeno-”

“I love you, Mark Lee, I love you so much that it hurts,” And Mark smiles weakly, because he _knows_. He knows what it’s like to love someone who you know will never be yours. “So please, _please_ don’t be fucking with me-”

“Jen,” Mark takes a tentative step forward, “Can I...can I kiss you?”

Jeno exhales.

_Can you kiss me? Mark Lee, just how dumb can you be? You could ask me a million times and my answer would never, ever change._

“Of course you can kiss m-” Jeno letting out a squeak of surprise when Mark’s slightly chapped lips press against his, the older giggling into the kiss in what Jeno can only describe as the epitome of dorkiness. Mark’s hands finding purchase on Jeno’s waist, holding on tight with an unspoken promise to _never_ let him go.

Because as Mark’s mother had always said, _“No matter how difficult the path of life may get, true love is to love fully and never let go.”_

\---

_“Hey, Mark?” And Mark simply hums, the orange glow of the sunrise casting an amber hue on the older’s already sunkissed skin, “I love you.”_

_(I love you. I love you. I love you.)_

_“Oh?” Mark says, slinging his arm over Jeno’s shoulder, his eyes twinkling as he lets out an airy laugh, “Well, in that case, I love you too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> markno care me :( markno care each other :(
> 
> also nana i am so sorry i did u like that ily 
> 
> (*chenle means “music star” as well as “star of happiness” hence why jeno calls lele his happiness...and why renjun is like “mark lee pls gtfo” bc y’know, markno’s matching star tattoos and part of chenle’s name meaning star....)
> 
> n e wayz thank u so much for reading n happy holidays!!!


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